I come from a Nigerian Christian background, and I’ve heard this statement so many times, it breaks my heart. The statement is “It’s not our portion” , this statement is in relation to their child potentially having an ADHD assessment or even if their child has had an ADHD diagnosis. “It’s not our potion” may be prefixed with “Jesu” or “I rebuke it in Jesus’s name” or any other similar statement. In any case I hope you get the general gist.
To them, having to consider that their child or young adult may have an ADHD diagnosis is not something they would like to consider. I often want to say to them, well who’s portion is it in then ? but I stay silent and spend the next few hours explaining what I can about ADHD.
What saddens me the most is the thought that children will not get the support they need due to the limiting beliefs of their parents, the world is tough enough without having to go it alone with no understanding from those you depend on and love the most.
Furthermore, as a parent, how do you look to support a child if there is no acceptance of the diagnosis, but you are looking to God to fix it.
At some point during the conversation I have with such parents , I like to share a joke that a wise old woman , my mother, told me years ago. Mama Clara’s Favourite Joke:
The joke about God and the drowning man goes like this:
A terrible flood is threatening a town, and a devout man is trapped on his rooftop, praying to God for salvation.
First, a man in a rowboat comes by and offers to help. The devout man replies, “No, thank you. God will save me”.
Later, as the waters rise, a motorboat approaches and offers a rescue. The man again refuses, saying, “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me”.
Finally, a helicopter hovers overhead and lowers a rope. The pilot shouts for the man to grab on. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I’m sure God will deliver me”.
The man eventually drowns and goes to heaven. He finds God and asks, “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn’t you save me from that flood?”.
God replies, “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, you fool. What more did you want?”.
Even if your child is diagnosed with ADHD, there are a vast array of tools at your disposal including Therapy, Coaching and Medication,
I confess that as a Nigerian parent I used to think that this statement “Not our portion” was synonymous with Nigeria Christians alone, but as an ADHD coach, I’ve learnt, this is not the case. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to a vast array of people from diverse backgrounds, both culturally and religiously and I can no longer leave that label at the head of Nigeria Christians alone. Nigerian and Christianity has nothing to do with it. All different kinds of people have this mindset, but what I have also learnt is that when people approach me on this, that is an opportunity for them and me to learn, and I always take the opportunity to impart my knowledge on ADHD.
I wrote this post to outline that depending on their mindset, people including parents can hinder or support children that have an ADHD diagnosis, lets support them.
Whether you have this mindset or not, if you would like a chat, give me a call at AtaraxiaCoaching.com